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The Golden Compass
Wes Anderson

Veronica Mars: Col. Mustard in the Ballroom with the Wrench?


Veronica MarsOK, I don't know how many of you watch Veronica Mars, not too many, if ratings mean anything. Anyhow, VM employs the "Buffy Model" of television, where there is a season-long storyline that is resolved by the season finale. Basically, each season has a central mystery that drives the plot, along with the mystery of the week of each individual episode.

The cool thing is that means viewers get a very complex, twisty and involving mystery to sink their teeth into. Tomorrow night is the season finale where we're going to learn who finally caused the bus crash that killed eight students way back in September.

My friend Jason and I have been watching this all season and in case either (actually both, our theories are extremely close together) of us have gotten it right, I wanted to post it tonight, so that I can say "Ha ha! Figured it out!".

Of course, if I'm wrong, well... public humiliation and proof that it's good I didn't become a private investigator.

Anyhow, I'd summarize the season, but it's way too complicated. Jason's insanely detailed notes run 22 pages long. But here's a super-brief thumbnail: At the beginning of the season, a bus returning from a high school field trip ran off a cliff into the ocean. Forensics showed that the crash was caused by an explosive onboard that killed the bus driver right before a bend in the road, sending the bus over a cliff. Most of the rich kids that would have been on board were taking a limo home because of a foul smell that had been on the bus, which appears to be caused by a dead rat someone hid on the bus (presumably intentionally).

There's several other plot threads, including a mayoral race, freaky-ass parents, a pregnancy or two, kidnapping, a failed bid to incorporate the upscale portions of the town, a big bald guy named Curly who washed up on shore with Veronica's name written on his palm (and has a connection with last season's killer), a gold-digging grifter, a pro baseball player with a gambling problem, "the outing of all outings", rival biker gangs mysteriously cooperating and an unexpected case of the clap. Hence the 22 pages of notes.

Anyhow, in the interest of not putting spoilers on the front page of the website, I'll have my and Jason's predictions after the jump. If you haven't been watching the show, there's really no point in reading on, none of this will make any sense whatsoever.